Automatic Magazine

THE CHUPACABRA LIVES and THEN DIES

Migdol — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 00:25:13 +0000

Today is the Best Day Of Our Lives! The Chupacabra is real and CNN’s got the footy to prove it!

Poor little guy's just a little sleepy

Milhouse Militia

Parker — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:31:34 +0000

Back when I was in high school (over a decade ago, christ…) some friends and myslef put out a few issues of a little ‘zine. It made for fun times, until we nearly got charged with distibuting child pornography. Anywho, my Pops recently came across the second issue and I thought I’d start putting some pages up on the ol’ blog.

You'll notice a pubescent, speedo clad Rory in the upper right hand corner...

Here's the page with the infamous "kiddy porn" photo, censored to keep us all out of jail.

Humble Pie

Parker — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:21:46 +0000

I’ve been seriously remiss in my blog duties, but seeing as how I’ve haven’t ridden a skateboard in over four months I just haven’t had much to write about. But, to keep Migdol happy I’ve decided to start keeping y’all up to date on my adventures here in Hawaii. First off is my last session on the North Shore this past winter, in which I paddle out at Log Cabins on my 6′ fish and get humbled.

The session started off fun...

... and then I got worked.

Stuck in the lip, over the falls. I put my shin through the rail of my board and got bounced off the bottom hard enough to pucker my asshole. Great, now I’ve got to wait until next Winter to redeem myself.

I’m a huge Stern Fan.

kriegel — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 22:12:48 +0000

The Howard Stern Show on Sirius has been using this Paris Hilton sound bite. I really don’t know why it’s so funny. It’s like the seventh wonder of the world or a woman’s G-spot there is no proper rational explanation.

Jesus loves farts

kriegel — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 21:10:38 +0000

7 Year Old On The Shit

kriegel — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 22:37:14 +0000

Who is Kenneth Pinyan?

Parker — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 03:12:38 +0000

Parker — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 21:06:32 +0000

Living out in the country is pretty nice, but once the sun goes down there’s not a whole lot to do. Unless, that is, you feel like getting hammered and playing with fire.

Here we can see Michelle five seconds before nearly burning down our apartment. You’ll notice she still has all her hair. I hadn’t figured out what a shameful whore she is yet.

Volleyballs in your mouth

Parker — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 20:57:55 +0000

“Satan is in our midst, my friends! The Devil is using Olympics volleyball to lure young men into shedding their clothes, flopping around and falling off off their beds with him into the pit of iniquity. Lucifer is turning innocent afternoon gatherings of imprecatory prayer into frenzied young Masturbating Baptist Boys’ Clubs!”

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/2008/august/olympicvolleyball.html

Parker — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 09:02:48 +0000