A monk seal, doing what monk seals do, which is nothing

So, this thing here is called a monk seal. Apparently they wash up on the beach in our area from time to time, and it’s really special because they’re all “endangered.”
These things are like the stupid turtles we’ve got floating around here all the time (one day I’ll explain why I hate turtles, it’s a long story that involves Nicaragua), they don’t do anything, you’re not allowed to poke them or yell at them or ride them or look at them, so as I see it there’s not much point to them at all.
So the other day Michelle comes home and tells me that she got involved with this monk seal group and she’s in charge of mile or so stretch of beach past Haleiwa. I got excited because I thought I’d have a chance to finally play with a seal, and maybe I could teach it to catch fish for me or something cool like that.
Apparently not though. The lazy beasts come up on land to sleep, and then go back to sea for years at a time, or something like that. So, long story short, no seals for Rory.
So, I asked her what the point of the group was. She told me that their job is to make sure no one harasses the seal. They don’t have any legal power, this is just a bunch of kooks that printed out t shirts that say “Monk seal patrol,” and they hang around on the beach yelling at people who get to close to the animals.

Great, I’m in love with a fucking seal narc.

Ryan Farrell, Guttermouth drummer and my former presidential running mate, stayed with us a while back.

michelle

“The practice of head shaving has often been used to punish people, such as criminals or political opponents.[1] Especially for women, the act of shaving off an offender’s hair serves to humiliate the victim and remind them of their offense. For example, thousands of European women had their heads shaved in front of cheering crowds in the wake of World War II, as punishment for associating with occupying Nazis during the war.”

By this point the Pirate Bay trial over there in Sweden, the country that’s home to my favorite ethnically stereotypical Muppet, is in full swing. I’m sure you’ve all been paying close attention to it, and if you haven’t, well, you damn well should. This is important shit happening kids, and the verdict has the potential to change our world in very real ways. Of course, even if the Pirate Bay guys are found guilty of the charges that haven’t been dropped yet, we won’t see the end of file sharing. But, if they are acquitted on all charges we can expect to see and explosion of foreign host tracker sites.

Personally, I expect that they’ll be found not guilty of most of the charges, but they’ll be smacked with a small penalty, just to keep the RIAA and American copyright holders happy.

For the record, I’m against any and all form of copyright protection. Now I know that as I writer I should be for them, because they’re the only thing keeping people from stealing the fruits of my mind womb and pimping them out for profit (theoretically at least), but as I see it, internet piracy is a non crime. Nothing is taken or given, a downloaded song or book or movie is just a bunch of rearranged light particles that represent the theoretical product (or something like that, I’m kind of vague on how computers really work).

So, pay attention kids, this shit matters.

Go check out wired.com, they’ve been covering this shit really well for a while now.

Check out this new website.  It’s for the homies.  It’s got cool interviews and San Diego local hype - but try not to forget about us.
http://www.typicalculture.com